These next two weeks I'm being assimilate into the Borg that is Corporate America.

I really like this company. Not only are they overpaying me to sit in a classroom and sing "Garfield 1, 2-3, 2-3" as an example of advertising, or why I can't sing, or whatever, they're also really working with us to pound some of this stuff into our heads BEFORE we go and make fools of ourselves in front of customers. Normally I hate group work, but this has turned out to be both interesting and fun. And whereas most companies are soul sucking profit stealing destroyers of well-being, this one seems pretty ethical, especially considering it's sales. I'm very pleasantly surprised.

Here are some of the odd characters I'm training with:

1. If you've ever seen the British version of "The Office," then you'll never forget the character David Brent, played by Ricky Gervais. He loved to talk about himself and make mysoginistic/racist comments right in the middle of trying to show off just how colorblind/eunich-like his thinking actually was. Well-----I sit next to a man who would come across as a perfectly nice gentlemen if only he'd shut his mouth three sentences into his speeches. He's JUST like David Brent. At one point we had to interview each other and he decided he didn't like the interviewer's questions, so he asked HIMSELF questions (out loud) and then answered them in a long and rambling way, being sure to list as many of his acomplishments as possible. He was the one to interview me, and he made it a point to mention SEVERAL times that I'm the youngest person by far in the training session, going out of his way a few times to do so. That was shortly before I proceeded to kick his ass in every single exercise we've done so far. He left looking kind of humble today.
2. I sit next to this man who's been in the industry forever. I've been making him my partner for every group exercise and appealing to his ego to make him go first and repeat himself a lot, thereby giving me extra valuable training. At first he irritated me with his constant butting in and overriding of ideas, but I figure if he wants to give out his knowledge for free, hell, who am I to turn that down? People pay good money for sales training and advice, and here all I have to do is ask.
3. Just when I start to feel like the most unprofessional, young, giggling person in the whole wide world, there's the lady who sits across from me. This lady is awesome. Her uber professional veneer has been sliding away during this training and she actually called something "ghetto" today. I love her. She and I have had the least professional sales experience, so we can bond in our need to ask lots of questions.
4. The woman training us is about 5'2", has a Louisiana accent, and calls ME "little darlin." I feel like a linebacker next to this woman. I just think that's funny. It's like me calling my dog Ben (a 15 year old dane/shephard mix) my "little puppy."

The main bad thing about this job so far is the office. Once I start working I won't be there every day but for now I'm stuck there and I don't know if it's the temperature changes or what, but I have to visit the ladies' room once every ten minutes while there. And it's not just me...the lady in training does it to. Also, the stop and go traffic is killer on my gas mileage. On the plus side, people in that part of the city are pretty patient and considerate. We all know we're going to wait no matter what, so there's a lot of yielding and a nice lack of horn honking. It's the heaviest trafficked commute I've ever had, but also the least stressful.

So that's what's going on for the next few weeks. I work all day, rush home or to one of my after-work things, and then I study and do my "homework." In two weeks I'll be allowed to go on calls and start field learning, and then I shall fully be Corporate Borg.