First, happy birthday to Allie and Vikki. To see pictures of us getting drunk and playing slip-n-slide at Vikki's party, go here: http://www.bryangarvin.com. This is Bryan's site, and he also has some pictures of the kitties getting their first shots. I warn you, there's a picture of my brother going down the slide in his underwear with a beer bong, so if that will affect your delicate sensibilities, you'd probably better not go there. Not that ANY of us wanted to "go there," really.

I have my eight month checkup at the Clinic on the 3rd, or so I thought. See, what usually happens is I go in around 8, 8:30, and I get a blood test done there so they have up to the minute lab results to bitch at me about. Then I go and see my doctor. Well...that's not strictly true. I go and sign in, wait two hours, get led back to the room, pee in a cup, get weighed, wait two more hours, and THEN I see my doctor, who likes to call me "fatty" and always tells me to get some sun, despite the fact that the pills I am on can technically cause skin cancer.
Anyway, I received a piece of mail today saying that I see my doctor on the 3rd (which I took off for) and I take my blood test on the 4th. Yes. Apparently I go and see my doctor BEFORE they do the labs, because he's going to psychically guess the results. I mean, I knew they were good, but I had NO IDEA they had psychic powers! I'm kind of pissed I wasted all that money on x-rays, IVPs and ultrasounds now, you know? And hey, if they're so future-seeing, why can't they see me telling them to shove it up their asses when they screw up the schedule? It would save me a lot of bitching time on the telephone, that's for damn sure. Not that I am bitter, what with this happening for my past THREE appointments, no, not at all.

I'm wondering why I can never seem to move without getting my car filled with hornets and bees. I remember moving my stuff out of Youngstown in a September/October time frame, and there were bees and wasps EVERYWHERE. And today is no different. It's kind of terrifying, because not only am I trying to cram boxes into a Kia Rio in flip flops thanks to the 90 degree Ohio weather, I am also trying to dodge things that sting and buzz. Because a bee sting won't make me react like all you normal people out there, oh no. I'm not allergic, but my immune system is about as potent as a glass of Wild Vines strawberry wine, and it will take two weeks to heal. Meanwhile I'll have a huge lump on my forehead as though I'm growing some sort of alien baby, or giant pubescent pimple. I really don't want to deal with that. I suppose I could schedule a Cortisone shot at the Clinic, but for all I know they'd give me the shot on the 3rd and make the appointment to discuss it with me on the fourth.

Lastly, Bryan and I have registered at Target. This caused a few arguments. Nevertheless, I'm pretty happy with some of the things we selected: thank you cards, beer, and a slip-n-slide. Naturally we looked at some traditional things like towels, and we selected a sliver pattern. This sounds classier than it really is, since I think it costs all of $40.00. I figure our parents will be proud because we also selected a vacuum. We'll probably prop it up in the corner as a display of Things That Could Come to Pass, right next to a broken mug with a map of the world on it that we sloppily glued back together, which stands behind a book from the 50s titled "Our Cup is Broken." Every interior decor needs a theme.

So that's what's going on. Lots of things. Now I'm going to try to get into my car again, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all the bees have left it, because I really don't like trying to smash them. Wish me luck.