My throat hurts like that of a "lady of the night" due to this stupid cold that only affects me so strongly because I'm not allowed to have an immune system, due to this alien kidney sitting somewhere in the vicinity of my right hip. I've named it Skippy II---the kidney, not the bloody immune system.

I got up to try a few home remedies that I found on the internet. Louise (the cat) is helping. Apparently she thinks that crawling all over me and biting my feet and hands while purring is going to work. And it might...maybe if I try to wrap her furry body around my neck and wear her like a scarf her purring will improve circulation, but I'm loathe to bring her anywhere near my jugular, since I'm pretty sure she's hungry, hunger being the only real motivator for her to cuddle up to me. Hell, I can't complain, she learned it from me. Where was I?

Ah...throat remedies.

Well, I decided since the internet's a veritable plethora of misinformation, why not apply some of it to my tonsils?
So far I've tried gargling with salt water (not bad...still sore, but took the edge off) and tea with honey and lemon, which has stopped some of the coughing and kind of soothes...a little. The internet says to gargle with lemon water, and hell, if the internet says so it MUST be right so I'll be trying that as soon as I feel up to running to the sto' to purchase more lemon. I'm also going to try various other remedies such as Chamomile tea, ginger tea, and apple cider vinegar after visiting Giant Eagle. I know this is absolutely riveting stuff, so I'll post the results as I try them in the hopes of misguiding you all amd continuing the great Online tradition.

Until then, I'm off to take some NyQuil, read some Pearl S. Buck because I'm a biiiiig nerd, and maybe I'll even get some sleep. What a novel concept.