I LOVE Star Trek Next Generation. I love the elaborate makeup, the bad female actresses, and the thinly veiled social lessons spun by the great puppetmaster himself, Jean-Luc Picard. And sometimes Reiker, who could be MY number one anytime Captain Picard needed a stand-in, if ya know what I mean. Not that I watch Star Trek for the tight uniforms and the gratuitous half-naked episodes where Patrick Stewart strides around in an open vest, or in little briefs as he did today. That man has some shapely legs, although that was not the main thing I learned (though probably the most exhilirating.)

I had the pleasure of watching a double header tonight---two episodes on G4, sandwiched in between some show I've never heard of, and The Man Show. I came away from each feeling fufilled, thoughtful, and a little wiser.

In episode one, I learned that while we can learn the most by observation and playful experimentation with ourselves, others, and our environments, sometimes our good-natured curiosity can really be hurtful to someone else. And I learned that rather than getting mad and screaming at that person or threatening to "shiv" them (my usual mature response) sometimes a gentle taste of "what it feels like" is just the thing to make someone understand. Yes. Star Trek told me that revenge is OK, under peaceful conditions. Is it any wonder I love this show?

In the second episode my lessons were many. 1. When you vacation in a foreign place, make sure you're not prominantly displaying some sort of sexual artifact on your drink table. 2. If a woman is smart enough to confound a Ferangi, she's probably smart enough to confound you, too. 3. Being a sneaky underhanded harlot is apparently the best way to woo a Star Fleet Commander. I'm not quite sure how I can work number three into my daily life (or number two, really) but I'm sure one day I'll think of a way.

I also learned (not from Star Trek, but from W. C. Privy's "Bathroom Reader") that you "should never wear anything that scares the cat." I believe it was P. J. O'Rourke who said that. Or some other famous guy. Something like that. Probably pretty good advice, except that one of my cats, Jerome, is afraid of the things in the mirror, so I guess by default I'd have to say she's afraid of EVERYTHING I wear, since she runs away from my reflection. I have no intention of going to work naked, because it's air conditioned and I'm constantly spilling hot coffee on myself, so I suppose that lesson is something I'm going to have to follow sparingly.

Speaking of Star Trek, and things that are potentially a bad idea, what the hell is "Star Trek 2.0," anyway? Call me old school, but I'm a wee bit skeptical. I guess I'm hesitant to go where no lady has gone before, which is a statement I guess can also apply to the trunk of my car, which I THINK may still have a deep fryer in it, something I have no intention of dredging up.

God, I'm a nerd.