After being on 5 mg of Prednisone since April, I've become pretty bitter about the fact that I still have a fat double chin. I decided to do a little googling on the side effects of this horrible drug and now I'm pretty pissed off at the whole medical community once again.

If you are ever told your "only option" is to go on Prednisone long term, tell your doctor to go fuck himself. They'll put you on a super high dose, refuse to taper you, and conveniently forget to tell you that the side effects are often just as detrimental as the condition they are trying to treat.

Why do doctors love Prednisone so much? Why, because they'll spread their legs for anything insurance will cover...I remember being on dialysis and having them try to force feed me these Phospherous binders (the big ones that cost hundreds a bottle AFTER insurance) that I didn't NEED, because my Phospherous levels were consistantly perfect, which I knew because I watched my bloodwork like it was a full screen version of Snakes on a Plane. All in the name of kickbacks treating every patient as though their condition requires ten thousand pills science. *cough*

Here are some of the things I'm STILL dealing with, despite being on a "very low" dose for so many months:
HORRENDOUS double chin. In the past week I've had several people say that from the neck up in pictures I look like a fat person. I'm thinking of getting a veil that covers my neck.
Inability to sleep through the night.
Joint pain.
Severe muscle cramps.
Night sweats.
Super swift hair growth, which may SOUND fun, but isn't really when you're wandering around with Nair all over your arms trying not to touch anything.
Sore gums.
Thrush, which can cause your tongue to swell oddly for no apparent reason.
Extremely easy bruising.
Weird skin tone.
Inflated blood pressure.
Tired eyes...and much much more. Next time I go to the doctors I'm going to demand they start my taper again. This is the drug of Satan. If you can avoid it, do it.
Oh, also for some reason I'm the only person my doctors have EVER seen who hasn't gained 45 pounds, and even THEN I still had odd fat distribution when I was on a higher dose. You know what's fun? Getting a kidney transplant so you don't retain so much water/have such high blood pressure/to fix one of the complications of diabetes if applicable, and then going on a steroid that causes water retention and high blood pressure and fucked up blood sugar! Yes! GENIUS!
Apparently it also causes dementia and suicidal thoughts, osteoperosis, and even DEATH if you stop taking it too suddenly. Huzzah! "Miracle drug" my pasty freckled ass.

I'm pretty sure there are better things out there, but Lord only knows why they're not available to us. When your doctor pulls out that prescription pad, tell him to suggest some alternatives. And then punch him in the throat. Or suggest that maybe HE take some, if it's all that dandy. Not that I would suggest violence, or poison by a very common, readily available, "miracle drug." Heck no. That would be illegal, and we all know how I hate to break the law. Or other peoples' bones. *shifty eyes*