Halloween, pfffft!
I love Halloween and I always have. Assuming that our apartment building was too locked down for trick-or-treaters (and also since we're the very last building in a long line of identical and frightening looking white rectangular buildings), we decided to go to Harrison and Emily's house to pass out candy and frighten little children.
Sure, it was drizzling a little last night. But it was warm. Warm! It's NEVER warm on Halloween in Ohio! And there were no trick or treaters! I mean, what the hell? There were some kids in CARS, if you can imagine, but they never stopped. I felt sorry for the neighbors, who set up a whole display INCLUDING BONFIRE and also got no kids.
When I was a kid, (and I say this with all the wisdom and maturity of someone who is now 24), there was none of this pussy car-riding bullshit on Halloween. If you were old enough to walk and carry candy, you were old enough to haul your ass around a few blocks and beg for handouts from strangers. It was good training for REAL life. It's not like I'm back in Eaton Township, Ohio, either, where there are no sidewalks and the houses are approximately one million miles apart, or at least that's what it feels like when you're hauling around a wet "costume" (bathrobe, bedsheet, dad's shirt, whatever) and a bag of jolly ranchers. Heck, even THEN we'd walk, because we were troopers, and we understood that laziness does not begat candy. Also, our parents worked during the day and needed the silence of a house without sugar crazed kids for a few hours.
Anyway, I don't know if it was because people here are yuppies and they wanted to drive their kids in their fancy SUVs, or what. We did not have ONE trick-or-treater, and I was quite disappointed, especially since I was all decked out in longjohns and scrubs, a clever hybrid of pajama/costume that I technically stole from various places.
We did watch a few episodes of Seinfeld and bitched about how kids today are, which might become a valued holiday tradition. Also, Harrison was high on Sudafed which was kind of funny.
Well, I kind of feel like I'm going to throw up now and my forehead is definitely warm, so I'm going to go to work. Because that's the kind of trooper people from '82 are.
Sure, it was drizzling a little last night. But it was warm. Warm! It's NEVER warm on Halloween in Ohio! And there were no trick or treaters! I mean, what the hell? There were some kids in CARS, if you can imagine, but they never stopped. I felt sorry for the neighbors, who set up a whole display INCLUDING BONFIRE and also got no kids.
When I was a kid, (and I say this with all the wisdom and maturity of someone who is now 24), there was none of this pussy car-riding bullshit on Halloween. If you were old enough to walk and carry candy, you were old enough to haul your ass around a few blocks and beg for handouts from strangers. It was good training for REAL life. It's not like I'm back in Eaton Township, Ohio, either, where there are no sidewalks and the houses are approximately one million miles apart, or at least that's what it feels like when you're hauling around a wet "costume" (bathrobe, bedsheet, dad's shirt, whatever) and a bag of jolly ranchers. Heck, even THEN we'd walk, because we were troopers, and we understood that laziness does not begat candy. Also, our parents worked during the day and needed the silence of a house without sugar crazed kids for a few hours.
Anyway, I don't know if it was because people here are yuppies and they wanted to drive their kids in their fancy SUVs, or what. We did not have ONE trick-or-treater, and I was quite disappointed, especially since I was all decked out in longjohns and scrubs, a clever hybrid of pajama/costume that I technically stole from various places.
We did watch a few episodes of Seinfeld and bitched about how kids today are, which might become a valued holiday tradition. Also, Harrison was high on Sudafed which was kind of funny.
Well, I kind of feel like I'm going to throw up now and my forehead is definitely warm, so I'm going to go to work. Because that's the kind of trooper people from '82 are.
posted at 6:31 AM
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