Today I thought I'd do something different. Usually I blog about something that has happened to me during my day, or about knitting, or my cats, and it's usually pretty whiny and bitter. Today I decided that I would blog on some pre-approved topics. Unfortunately, I'm sick of politics and my local reviews are best suited for my other blog. I went to The Write Source to find a topic, and I selected "Grade 2" as my current level of competency. This may seem overgenerous, but hey, everyone likes a challenge.

Today's topic is "Words I Think Are Funny."

You know what word I think is really funny? Milk. I am from the Cleveland area, and I pronounce it "melk." No one even bothered to correct me until a few years ago, and then it was done with such a mean spirit that now I pronounce it incorrectly just for spite. To me, "milk" pronounced with "ill" in the middle sounds bizarre. It sounds like someone is trying to put on airs, which really annoys me. I know there's a way to pronounce it somewhere between "melk" and "m-ill-k," but I'm incapable of making that noise. It comes out sounding long and drawn-out as I try to do a sort of dipthong effect in the middle. I think I'll stick with "melk" (not that I can even drink the stuff) and those who don't like it can kiss my freckled ass.

I remember the grade when everyone learned the purported longest word in the English language. I believe it was "antidisestablishmentarianism," and it means exactly what it says. Pretty straightforward, I think. Still, I know people who will try to impress other people by actually working this into conversation. "Gee, Bob, I know what you mean. It really has an air of antidisestablishmentarianism!" I mean, come on. It SOUNDS like you got it off a cereal box in fourth grade, which I think is where I learned it. You want to be vague? Try talking about love, or discipline, or "honor."

There are two words I'm really fond of: temerity and strident. I love strident. To me it sounds very proper and British, and I can imagine applying it to all sorts of thing, such as my cat Jerome, who was rather strident in the manner in which she suggested I let her watch me shower. "Temerity" also applies to the cats, as in "I can't believe they have the temerity to demand I feed them at six in the morning, and then dart under my feet so I fall on my face three inches from their bowl." Hrm. Typing the above paragraph actually kind of made me mad. Why DO they wake me up at six? It's not like they're starving or anything. In fact, I'm not the ONLY one who lives here who can get my ass out of bed and feed the cats. Hrm.

In conclusion, I'd like to say that they should not name bad things pretty names, such as Chlamydia, and that good things like beef should have names that properly denote their gloriousness.

Take THAT, Grade 2 writing topic!