A letter to James Blunt.
Dear James Blunt,
I hear you music every day at my second job. It comes on over the PA system, those first soft, sad piano chords with you whispering your chorus over them. And then...that song. That horrible, insipid, creepy song about you trying to pick up women on the subway. Why, James Blunt, why?
Let me refresh your memory, and post the song lyrics to "You're Beautiful" right here:
" My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you."
Now, I am aware that the music industry is in fact an industry, and I'm willing to accept that you probably did not write these actual lyrics yourself. Still, I think maybe you should take the time to realize this song is complete and utter crap, and that you are lending your good name to such horrible drivel.
Let's focus on the words first, since I find them them even more offensive than the whiny tone of voice you use throughout the whole damn song.
In the first stanza you introduce the idea of the song. You're riding the subway and you see a hot chick and you express your thoughts thusly "man, I'd like to hit that. Snap, she already has a dude! No worries, brah, I got a plan!" Obviously you sing it usingly slightly more subtle words, because if you're going to entice some random girl off a subway and into your bedroom you're going to have to go for the sensitive guy aspect. A plan, huh? I'd like to see that.
Translation of the chorus: "You have a nice ass, I've decided I want to date you solely on the basis of that. You could be an axe murderer for all I know but you're pretty so I don't care. Whine whine whine, why isn't my whining working? I'm all hung up over a girl I've never spoken to, boo fucking hoo."
In stanza two you say that you're "fucking high." I'm sure as far as the song goes this is supposed to be poetic, maybe you're high on love or life or anything that isn't technically illegal. I don't believe you. I believe you were taking the late train to Burger King. You were drunk and stoned and horny, and you were hitting on women who were clearly in a relationship. Is this part of your plan, James Blunt? The plan you reference in stanza 1 but never finish up with any sort of resolving solution? Yeah, go eat your fries, you stoner.
And THEN, THEN you go on to say that an "angel" decided you two were destined to be together. REALLY? An ANGEL you say? Is "angel" a code for the voice in your head telling you to stalk this poor girl through the subway system?
Pardon me, James Blunt, but I do feel a lot of malevolence towards these lyrics.
I may have misinterpreted them. Maybe you're not a dangerous rapist-drug abuser as your lyrics suggest. Perhaps you're just one of those whiny guys who likes to stare at girls and cry about how you never have a girlfriend without even going up and talking to her. You're that guy who likes to obsess and write creepy songs about women you KNOW you won't have a chance with because it's easier than striking up a conversation.
Here's some advice for you, Mr. Blunt. You think you "shared a moment," huh? You want to see this girl again? Try taking the same train at the same time. She's probably a commuter. Maybe put an ad on Craigslist. Put up a flyer and an email address in the damn subway station for crying out loud. Don't be an impotent weenie.
I think maybe my hatred of your song is due in part to your voice. It's not a bad voice...it's rather distinctive and I think your plaintive sort of whine-yodel thing works very well for your breakup song "You Have Been the One," which manages to be sad and yet still rational and sort of upbeat all at the same time, even if it is the sort of cock-rock song a guy would write solely to get into someone's pants. However, being sad over a failed relationship and stalking a girl on the subway are two different things, and your singing style does not reflect that.
Lastly I will focus on your video. I think your video sheds light on the "plan" you so boldly refer to in stanza one. Remember the video? You're dressed like a college kid, and you have that sort of trendy bedhead thing going, and you're looking directly into the camera. During the song you methodically strip and proceed to jump off a cliff.
Woah, slow down there, James Blunt! There's no reason to kill yourself over some hot "chick" you saw on the subway. Let's talk about the subway for a minute. A LOT of people ride the subway. That chick might have been a dude. You're probably better off.
In conclusion, I really hate this song. I'm still willing to give you personally a shot when it comes to music likeability, but you're going to have to work on it. Consider this a warning.
Sincerely,
Stephanie
I hear you music every day at my second job. It comes on over the PA system, those first soft, sad piano chords with you whispering your chorus over them. And then...that song. That horrible, insipid, creepy song about you trying to pick up women on the subway. Why, James Blunt, why?
Let me refresh your memory, and post the song lyrics to "You're Beautiful" right here:
" My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you."
Now, I am aware that the music industry is in fact an industry, and I'm willing to accept that you probably did not write these actual lyrics yourself. Still, I think maybe you should take the time to realize this song is complete and utter crap, and that you are lending your good name to such horrible drivel.
Let's focus on the words first, since I find them them even more offensive than the whiny tone of voice you use throughout the whole damn song.
In the first stanza you introduce the idea of the song. You're riding the subway and you see a hot chick and you express your thoughts thusly "man, I'd like to hit that. Snap, she already has a dude! No worries, brah, I got a plan!" Obviously you sing it usingly slightly more subtle words, because if you're going to entice some random girl off a subway and into your bedroom you're going to have to go for the sensitive guy aspect. A plan, huh? I'd like to see that.
Translation of the chorus: "You have a nice ass, I've decided I want to date you solely on the basis of that. You could be an axe murderer for all I know but you're pretty so I don't care. Whine whine whine, why isn't my whining working? I'm all hung up over a girl I've never spoken to, boo fucking hoo."
In stanza two you say that you're "fucking high." I'm sure as far as the song goes this is supposed to be poetic, maybe you're high on love or life or anything that isn't technically illegal. I don't believe you. I believe you were taking the late train to Burger King. You were drunk and stoned and horny, and you were hitting on women who were clearly in a relationship. Is this part of your plan, James Blunt? The plan you reference in stanza 1 but never finish up with any sort of resolving solution? Yeah, go eat your fries, you stoner.
And THEN, THEN you go on to say that an "angel" decided you two were destined to be together. REALLY? An ANGEL you say? Is "angel" a code for the voice in your head telling you to stalk this poor girl through the subway system?
Pardon me, James Blunt, but I do feel a lot of malevolence towards these lyrics.
I may have misinterpreted them. Maybe you're not a dangerous rapist-drug abuser as your lyrics suggest. Perhaps you're just one of those whiny guys who likes to stare at girls and cry about how you never have a girlfriend without even going up and talking to her. You're that guy who likes to obsess and write creepy songs about women you KNOW you won't have a chance with because it's easier than striking up a conversation.
Here's some advice for you, Mr. Blunt. You think you "shared a moment," huh? You want to see this girl again? Try taking the same train at the same time. She's probably a commuter. Maybe put an ad on Craigslist. Put up a flyer and an email address in the damn subway station for crying out loud. Don't be an impotent weenie.
I think maybe my hatred of your song is due in part to your voice. It's not a bad voice...it's rather distinctive and I think your plaintive sort of whine-yodel thing works very well for your breakup song "You Have Been the One," which manages to be sad and yet still rational and sort of upbeat all at the same time, even if it is the sort of cock-rock song a guy would write solely to get into someone's pants. However, being sad over a failed relationship and stalking a girl on the subway are two different things, and your singing style does not reflect that.
Lastly I will focus on your video. I think your video sheds light on the "plan" you so boldly refer to in stanza one. Remember the video? You're dressed like a college kid, and you have that sort of trendy bedhead thing going, and you're looking directly into the camera. During the song you methodically strip and proceed to jump off a cliff.
Woah, slow down there, James Blunt! There's no reason to kill yourself over some hot "chick" you saw on the subway. Let's talk about the subway for a minute. A LOT of people ride the subway. That chick might have been a dude. You're probably better off.
In conclusion, I really hate this song. I'm still willing to give you personally a shot when it comes to music likeability, but you're going to have to work on it. Consider this a warning.
Sincerely,
Stephanie
posted at 8:16 AM
4 Comments:
Wonderful!
Wait, WHY are James Blunt songs piped throught your work's PA system?
It's part of the adult contemporary background music they play constantly. I'm going to start bringing in my OWN CDs.
That's why I love my iPod.
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