As many of you know, I have been fighting with social security. I've been trying to get them to stop sending me money for months, or to at least put me on a program that gives me a definite cut-off date. There are a few reasons for this, namely a. I work 70 hours a week and earn far more than what their cut off requirement is b. I have to pay taxes on the benefits they send me because of how much I earn and c. I am not disabled, nor do I need their money. You know who needs their money? My friend Cat, who is the youngest recorded patient on the books with aplastic anemia. Her doctor won't allow her to work, they don't know what her treatments will be, and she's almost at the point where her parents can't cover her insurance anymore. Or what about the elderly who have used their savings to pay for their medical bills and are now being foreclosed on? Those people need this money. Or the family whose kids have been born with congenital dwarfism and aren't able to have health insurance, or the Amish family whose four year old son has leukemia and is getting chemotherapy every single day. Not ME, whose net household income is, let's face it, very middle class right now, at least for Cleveland.

GRRR!

I've filled out their fucking paperwork twice, the one that says I'm going back to work, etc., etc., how much I make and so on and so forth. Furthermore they know how much I make because I am paying social security taxes, and if they aren't keeping track of that, well, screw them.

Today I opened a letter I received in the mail:

Dear Stephanie,
We checked our records to see if any changes in your benefits are necessary.

(I squealed hopefully at this point, then continued reading.)

We are increasing your benefit amount to give you credit for your earnings in '006 which were not included when we figured your benefit before.

WHAT???????

Yes. On May 3rd, I'm going to get $800, and then I will receive $654 every month after that. Keep in mind this is mere weeks after an article that came out in the newspaper saying only "scofflaws" benefited from social security. Here I am, writing them letters, calling, trying to explain the situation, and those sons of bitches are sending me more money.

So I'm pissed. I picked up the phone to call their 1-800 number, since I can't technically sit on the phone with them for four hours while I'm at work, and of course their office was closed because it's Sunday. So tomorrow I will take a "break" and "help" an attorney in their closed-door office, while I will really be on the phone trying to explain that my working 70 hours a week can't possibly mean that I am not doing "significant work," which is how the letter put it.

Meanwhile, I will put their money in my savings account and earn interest on it. Or maybe I'll use it to buy a billboard and express my thoughts. Or maybe I'll use it for bail for when I go and spray paint "fraud" across the front of their office. What's bail for vandalism, like $500?? I could float that. I mean, not that I'd ever do anything like that because that would be wrong.

STOP GIVING ME MONEY.

Labels: idiocy, rage, social security