I have lots of stuff.
Today while cleaning the apartment, I found a large array of unexplainable junk. Now, I've been pretty good lately about not keeping things around for ages (such as receipts and bills from February that I technically paid online before they were even due) but I think the vast ocean of clutter from times before is starting to wash over me, as if to remind me of my weird accumulating past.
I'm not entirely sure were some of this crap even CAME from. Here we go:
1. A "sandwich maker" that I've never personally used. This is not MY junk, for the record. Most of our kitchen junk came from someone else who happens to live here, someone who also has a french fry maker with parts we're not even sure BELONG to the french fry maker, and a lot of pie pans. Neither of us bake, so I'm not sure why we own pie tins, but we do. (I like pie, I just hate baking. Plus I sort of think flour is evil. Neurotic, I know.)
2. A veritable assortment of old toothbrushes. I can understand ONE for cleaning baseboards and the crack between the stove and the counter, but SIX?? Geez. I've had one toothbrush for the whole time I've lived here, so I have no idea when the others showed up.
3. Womens' pants that aren't mine or his. Seriously? Weird. (And yes, he does own one pair of ladies' pants. It's sort of a long story.)
4. A thousand beer bottle tops that have been squished into little football shapes. I'm pretty sure I know where those came from. The question is: why?
5. AARP magazines. A whole stack. They keep sending them to me, although that doesn't explain why I've chosen to keep them in the apartment.
6. One 20 pound barbell circa 1972.
7. A Domino's Pizza "heat wave" thermal pizza transportation pouch.
8. Keys for cars we no longer own. Also, keys to the propane cabinet at a home improvement store where I worked when I was 16. The store is no longer in business. Still---if any time travelers need propane and feel like searching for it in the past, I've got the key for that.
So, yeah. Today was a good day to get out the garbage bags and go through some things. I'm a little afraid of what's going to happen when I venture into the spare closet. Maybe I'll have a drink or four before I try that.
(P.S.--I also found a hard hat that says "Alltel" on it. Who works for Alltel? We don't even have a house phone!)
I'm not entirely sure were some of this crap even CAME from. Here we go:
1. A "sandwich maker" that I've never personally used. This is not MY junk, for the record. Most of our kitchen junk came from someone else who happens to live here, someone who also has a french fry maker with parts we're not even sure BELONG to the french fry maker, and a lot of pie pans. Neither of us bake, so I'm not sure why we own pie tins, but we do. (I like pie, I just hate baking. Plus I sort of think flour is evil. Neurotic, I know.)
2. A veritable assortment of old toothbrushes. I can understand ONE for cleaning baseboards and the crack between the stove and the counter, but SIX?? Geez. I've had one toothbrush for the whole time I've lived here, so I have no idea when the others showed up.
3. Womens' pants that aren't mine or his. Seriously? Weird. (And yes, he does own one pair of ladies' pants. It's sort of a long story.)
4. A thousand beer bottle tops that have been squished into little football shapes. I'm pretty sure I know where those came from. The question is: why?
5. AARP magazines. A whole stack. They keep sending them to me, although that doesn't explain why I've chosen to keep them in the apartment.
6. One 20 pound barbell circa 1972.
7. A Domino's Pizza "heat wave" thermal pizza transportation pouch.
8. Keys for cars we no longer own. Also, keys to the propane cabinet at a home improvement store where I worked when I was 16. The store is no longer in business. Still---if any time travelers need propane and feel like searching for it in the past, I've got the key for that.
So, yeah. Today was a good day to get out the garbage bags and go through some things. I'm a little afraid of what's going to happen when I venture into the spare closet. Maybe I'll have a drink or four before I try that.
(P.S.--I also found a hard hat that says "Alltel" on it. Who works for Alltel? We don't even have a house phone!)
posted at 12:25 PM
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