Today is our one-year anniversary, and thus far the celebration has gone as follows:
1. Carve pumpkins that look like each other. Some of us are better at pumpkin carving than others. Pictures will be posted later. (I won.)
2. Eat steak and pasta.
3. Watch the American Auction channel and try to learn auctioneer patter.

The AAC is an awesome channel, and not just because the AAC is special because the auctioneer likes to shout things such as "I sooold it, you booought it!" and "I soooold it cause you stooooled it!" (He also shouts "great googly mogely.") There is ALSO an amazing background guy who shouts "YEAH! $250!" at various intervals, and holds telephone conversations at extremely loud volumes.

I seem to have a special talent for auctioneering. I'm loud, I speak quickly, I rarely make sense, and I'm a pretty good imitator. (Imitatratess?) All you need to do is count down and up at the same time, while routinely shouting what you WANT people to bid, peppering in some Southern phrases all the while. "I got 190-1 , 190-2 looking for 200-1-got 200 looking for 250-1 250-2 great googly moogly I got 250 I SOLD it you BOUGHT it!"

I practiced on Bryan and the dog and it seemed to work pretty well. I sold a pair of grey Lion Brand worsted weight leg warmers to Harold the cat and am now working on selling my dignity to Louise the cat for 50 cents.

I'll let you know if I soooold it. Hey, at least you booought it.