Stephen Tyler Jr. goes into the vet tomorrow morning to get a little operation, and I am very happy. He'll be there overnight for recovery and observation, and he will come home on Wednesday a changed boy. I'm hoping that he will chew fewer things and bark a little less. I think we will all be much happier, if only for the reason that his improved behavior will mean that I will yell a lot less. Hopefully there will be less standing on the porch at 6 am in a bathrobe, stage-whispering "STEPHEN TYLER GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" (For all the good the electric fence does, there's still that pesky little issue of actually getting them to come to the door when you call them.) My legs will heal as he settles down a bit and stops running towards my legs at full speed when I come home from work, causing giant dog head shaped bruises on my thighs. I am also very relieved that he will no longer be able to father little bastard-puppies, because as cute as he is, the last thing I need is for one of the people in our neighborhood who can't seem to master restraining their own dogs to wander over to our yard and whine that little "Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr." had a mess 'o puppies who all look a little Ridgeback/Coonhound-esque.

That's one thing that DOES piss me off a lot. If you really loved your dog, wouldn't you at least make an attempt to keep him near your own yard? Sure, dogs get out. Even the most stout tethering system can pull out of the ground, and dogs chew through lines, and sometimes they do dart out from under you when you're on your way to work in the morning. That happens sometimes. It should NOT happen every morning. What makes it even worse is that responsible owners who keep their pets in their own yard have no way of keeping other dogs OUT, unless we spend lots of money on fencing.

Even if the dogs are friendly, there can still be incidents. The last thing I need is some female coming into my yard and ending up pregnant with a batch of puppies destined either for the pound or for a life of wandering the neighborhood, producing more unwanted puppies.

I suppose you could call my attitude strident, but when I really sit and think about it, I feel the same way about people, too. Litters of puppies are a lot like litters of babies in many ways, and when I make this statement I am thinking of one particular young man I know who seems to think that he is to sperm what Johnny Appleseed is to Ohio's many orchards.

Anyway, Bryan is a little pouty about Steve, and I suppose I can understand that. He's feeling empathy and I guess I should cherish that quality instead of mocking him inwardly, although I DID veto the idea of getting him a "dog whore." (Only because your mom is busy tonight, OOOHHHHH!)

You know, when you think about it, it'd probably be a lot cheaper for humans to go the vet for similar operations. Probably better conditions, too. No one waking you up at four, no one asking you dumb-ass questions about your period...you get to leave with a cute little bandanna....I may have to think about this. I don't like babies, anyway.