It's fall/winter, and that means it's the time of year when my skin rebels and acts crazy. I have the face of a ten year old with the complexion of a forty year old. Hot! I think it's from having mostly dry skin...as the weather gets bizarre and changey, my skin dries out and gets tired and old looking, which shows more bags and dark circles, and when I try to counteract it by slapping some lotion on my cheeks it just sits on top and looks greasy and makes me break out. It's like I've finally hit puberty, only instead of getting breasts or cheekbones I've gotten acne and a big ass. Hey! Story of my life!

I got tired of people at work asking me if I was exhausted or pregnant, and so today I emailed two very learned lady friends about my problem. They suggested a cheap and effective course of action, and so I was off to Walgreens to buy something with mint in it and something light yet absorbent. I suppose if those were the only two directions I'd been given I could have returned with a pack of gum and some pantiliners, which is why when the teenage boy working in the cosmetics section of Walgreens asked if he could help me, I just giggled and said I had it under control. Yes, I do think it's weird that they have a guy working in cosmetics. Sure, they have a guy selling makeup at MAC downtown, but he's, well...flaming. This boy was not. This is Avon Lake, Ohio. Our homosexual boys are more the cashmere sweater type, not the lipgloss and Miss Sixty jeans type. And I'm pretty sure this boy was neither.

Anyway, now I'm sitting in my kitchen with my hair all back in a sexy (translation: totally not sexy) headband and thick green minty goo smeared all over my face. It actually seems to be working. Halfway through my little routine I noticed a lot of smooth, non-forty-year-old skin glowing through, so I'm pretty sure I just need to pay a little better attention during the winter and drink more fluids. In fact, if I'd taken better care of my skin in my late teens I probably would have had a much better time of it. I always just thought I had bad skin. Maybe I was really just lazy. I mean, I've always been bad at this girl stuff. I don't know how to style hair, and I'm not really into doing the full face of makeup thing unless I look like ass on any particular morning. Which I suppose I do EVERY morning---I guess I just think that makeup or no, an assface morning is going to be an assface morning, half inch of eyeliner or no. Also, I'm bad at coordinating colors and wearing jewelry and accessories and shopping for trends without looking like a tool. In short, I am awkward and very midwestern.

I realize I have just wasted about ten minutes on posting about giving myself a facial, and that given the other issues in the world this whole post is pretty frivolous. Well, you know what? So am I. I am done today. Me no make blog go! Brain no want more tired.