What's your excuse?
Recently I tried an experiment. I tried to go a whole day without giving excuses for things. On the surface this sounds like it would be easy---"I don't make that many mistakes!" I said to myself. "Why, I'm practically perfect in every way. I'm like Mary friggin Poppins, only with red hair and a booty that won't quit."
It turned out to be much harder than I expected. First, I came in about five minutes late for work. My bosses didn't care---five minutes here or there is no big deal if it's not a habit. For the benefit of the story I will state that I DID have a legitimate excuse, but that would have defeated the purpose of the exercise. The hawk-eyed girl who sits next to me made sure to notice at a pretty high volume. "Was traffic bad or something?" It WAS bad, but I swallowed my excuse and said nothing. (Actually, to be honest I swallowed "I've never been yelled at for being late because I'm good at my job." I was also working on not being a bitch.)
One thing I didn't realize is that people (and by people I mean "I") tend to make excuses or give stories for all sorts of things---not mistakes necessarily, but even general questions. It's like we're always on the defensive, scrambling to cover our own asses. I really tried not to give a long, boring narration for every question that came my way. Not "I didn't speak to that client because when I tried calling him his number turned out to be for a local Giant Eagle." Not "I gave that file to [girl who sits next to me] so I have no idea." It was really difficult.
Ever since doing that I've become more aware of how much people do it in general. I'm usually pretty good about not doing it when it's my own dumb mistake. (I once got into an argument with someone over which one of us was going to take the blame over a pretty big mess-up. We both wanted to accept full responsibility.) Consequently, it REALLY pisses me off when I see someone making excuses ALL the time. I mean, if it's really the result of some mix-up or someone else's communication error, sure. But don't you wonder what the deal is when you hear people ALWAYS blaming others?
I suggest you try it for a day. No excuses unless expressly asked for one. Just say "sorry." Or "I didn't realize. I will get right on that." Or "perhaps you should give me a spanking?"
Whoops! I didn't really mean to type that last one.
It turned out to be much harder than I expected. First, I came in about five minutes late for work. My bosses didn't care---five minutes here or there is no big deal if it's not a habit. For the benefit of the story I will state that I DID have a legitimate excuse, but that would have defeated the purpose of the exercise. The hawk-eyed girl who sits next to me made sure to notice at a pretty high volume. "Was traffic bad or something?" It WAS bad, but I swallowed my excuse and said nothing. (Actually, to be honest I swallowed "I've never been yelled at for being late because I'm good at my job." I was also working on not being a bitch.)
One thing I didn't realize is that people (and by people I mean "I") tend to make excuses or give stories for all sorts of things---not mistakes necessarily, but even general questions. It's like we're always on the defensive, scrambling to cover our own asses. I really tried not to give a long, boring narration for every question that came my way. Not "I didn't speak to that client because when I tried calling him his number turned out to be for a local Giant Eagle." Not "I gave that file to [girl who sits next to me] so I have no idea." It was really difficult.
Ever since doing that I've become more aware of how much people do it in general. I'm usually pretty good about not doing it when it's my own dumb mistake. (I once got into an argument with someone over which one of us was going to take the blame over a pretty big mess-up. We both wanted to accept full responsibility.) Consequently, it REALLY pisses me off when I see someone making excuses ALL the time. I mean, if it's really the result of some mix-up or someone else's communication error, sure. But don't you wonder what the deal is when you hear people ALWAYS blaming others?
I suggest you try it for a day. No excuses unless expressly asked for one. Just say "sorry." Or "I didn't realize. I will get right on that." Or "perhaps you should give me a spanking?"
Whoops! I didn't really mean to type that last one.
posted at 6:24 PM
5 Comments:
I need to try this.
And if you want spankings, I can supply those too.
"We both wanted to take full responsibility."
You hear that, you whiny, lazy, got-an-excuse-for-everything, non-responsibility-taking, social-services-sucking, CYA low-lifes??
My God--I DID do a bit or two of some good parenting!
You make a Momby so proud...
Umm..I was gonna post a comment...but my dog ate my computer...
I think too many people equivocate explanations with excuses. An excuse is an attempt to mitigate a situation in which you are responsible for. An explanation is the reason you are not responsible for the situation.
For instance, if you were given a number, you called it, and you got a local giant eagle instead of the client... to explain away the problem, you could have said "I need the right number for this client; what was given to me was the number of a local giant eagle."
By the way... is that a slang industry term, or just a surrealism, "local giant eagle"?
No, Scoot, it actually WAS a local Giant Eagle store. I just said "Actually, I need a better number for [client.]"
If I had been asked WHY I needed a different number I would have given the full story (which really was sort of funny.)
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