I could really go for some bacon.
I'm at an age where many people I know are going through competitive healthiness.
This is kind of a stark contrast to where I was just a few years ago, where we'd try different shots, brag about who got how wasted, and wake up hungover wondering where our pants were before finding questionable pictures on our cameraphones.
At today's work lunch, the conversation turned to running. As I listened to people talk about how much they ran (or people downplay their running, such as "I only ran four of the six miles...I am soooo not in shape!") I shoveled more mashed potatoes into my face and realized that I couldn't run 25 feet without keeling over like a smoker. I've never been one for endurance. Screw that. Maybe I'd run if I were racing someone to a Denny's. I suppose I ran that time I wanted to watch six episodes of Sex in the City in a row without getting off my ass and I discovered afterwards that I'd had to pee for over an hour. I don't think that really counts.
I also hear a lot of people bragging about how they are alcohol lightweights and get drunk on one drink. Now...ok, I'm not gonna lie, if I drink one really fast, I'm going to get buzzed. But if pace myself and nurse my drinks, I can have several over the course of the evening and not be drunk at all...meanwhile Garvin will be tottering around giggling and yelling "SNAP, LADY!" in my face before turning up the old school rap and prancing around the living room with several cats in his arms.
Of course when I SAY things like "I wouldn't run if you PAID me" or "I had three pounds of sausage yesterday morning!" people assume I'm lying. This is because I'm thin. I'm not thin because I'm a yuppie health freak---I'm thin because 1)I'm 19 (shut up! I am! I'm AT LEAST 19!) 2)I'm an ectomorph and 3)I generally eat three pretty OK meals a day. My processed meat binges are few and far between, and I'm not much for foods with empty calories. Furthermore, it's not like I'm TOTALLY out of shape. I do a gentle lazy calisthenic workout in front of the tv several times a week, and I have to walk several blocks uphill to work, where I always take the stairs. I'm not sedentary. But I'm also not going to be able to run around the block without gasping for breath. I never have been able to, and I've never had the desire to ruin my knees with all that up and down, up and down. I'm more the type to take a long walk with my MP3 player, or to scream at the dog and shake my fist really, really vigorously. Yelling is quite aerobic.
Still---when I hear people downplaying their 13 mile runs, it makes me feel like I'm going to wake up tomorrow in a pair of pink sweatpants and Garvin's t-shirt.
Hm, I already dress like that. I imagine myself in a pair of pink sweatpants and Garvin's t-shirt that have gotten REALLY REALLY TIGHT.
Do you think this fitness craze thing is something people in their late 20s/early 30s go through? Am I going to wake up one day when I am no longer 19 and suddenly decide to take up marathon running? Would I have to give up pizza? I don't think I could do that. Do you think these people who brag about their routines are lying?
Ah well. I might not be able to run a mile, but I'm still a kick-ass arm wrestler, and my leg wrestling is nothing short of inspired.
This is kind of a stark contrast to where I was just a few years ago, where we'd try different shots, brag about who got how wasted, and wake up hungover wondering where our pants were before finding questionable pictures on our cameraphones.
At today's work lunch, the conversation turned to running. As I listened to people talk about how much they ran (or people downplay their running, such as "I only ran four of the six miles...I am soooo not in shape!") I shoveled more mashed potatoes into my face and realized that I couldn't run 25 feet without keeling over like a smoker. I've never been one for endurance. Screw that. Maybe I'd run if I were racing someone to a Denny's. I suppose I ran that time I wanted to watch six episodes of Sex in the City in a row without getting off my ass and I discovered afterwards that I'd had to pee for over an hour. I don't think that really counts.
I also hear a lot of people bragging about how they are alcohol lightweights and get drunk on one drink. Now...ok, I'm not gonna lie, if I drink one really fast, I'm going to get buzzed. But if pace myself and nurse my drinks, I can have several over the course of the evening and not be drunk at all...meanwhile Garvin will be tottering around giggling and yelling "SNAP, LADY!" in my face before turning up the old school rap and prancing around the living room with several cats in his arms.
Of course when I SAY things like "I wouldn't run if you PAID me" or "I had three pounds of sausage yesterday morning!" people assume I'm lying. This is because I'm thin. I'm not thin because I'm a yuppie health freak---I'm thin because 1)I'm 19 (shut up! I am! I'm AT LEAST 19!) 2)I'm an ectomorph and 3)I generally eat three pretty OK meals a day. My processed meat binges are few and far between, and I'm not much for foods with empty calories. Furthermore, it's not like I'm TOTALLY out of shape. I do a gentle lazy calisthenic workout in front of the tv several times a week, and I have to walk several blocks uphill to work, where I always take the stairs. I'm not sedentary. But I'm also not going to be able to run around the block without gasping for breath. I never have been able to, and I've never had the desire to ruin my knees with all that up and down, up and down. I'm more the type to take a long walk with my MP3 player, or to scream at the dog and shake my fist really, really vigorously. Yelling is quite aerobic.
Still---when I hear people downplaying their 13 mile runs, it makes me feel like I'm going to wake up tomorrow in a pair of pink sweatpants and Garvin's t-shirt.
Hm, I already dress like that. I imagine myself in a pair of pink sweatpants and Garvin's t-shirt that have gotten REALLY REALLY TIGHT.
Do you think this fitness craze thing is something people in their late 20s/early 30s go through? Am I going to wake up one day when I am no longer 19 and suddenly decide to take up marathon running? Would I have to give up pizza? I don't think I could do that. Do you think these people who brag about their routines are lying?
Ah well. I might not be able to run a mile, but I'm still a kick-ass arm wrestler, and my leg wrestling is nothing short of inspired.
posted at 6:49 PM
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